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By clumsyhalfninja, December 31, 2009 9:16 pm

here’s the thing about me: i don’t make friends very easily, and i’m not that easy to get to know. but once i consider you a true loyal friend, whether or not distance or time separates us, or we don’t speak or see each other often, you’ve got me for life.

i have a few people in my life that i feel very lucky and honoured to consider true friends. i met them all in different ways. i found some but most found me. some were a natural pairing, some had to persist more than others. but one thing they all had in common was that they saw something in me that i often couldn’t see myself: that i was worth being friends with. these people have been an essential ingredient in my survival of last decade. i’ve gone through many phases and they have supported me through them all, regardless of whether or not they agreed with my choices.

as the decade draws to a close, i look back on some of my experiences. some i smile upon, some i cringe at; but the two constants that came out of all of them were a) i learned something from them and b) my friends were always there to help me through them, even if at times i tried to push them away.

so this new year’s eve when we all raise our glasses, i am toasting to you, my friends, and not just to the end of a year or decade but the end of an era. thank you for being there for me and know that i will always be there for you.

much love,
mica
xo

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By clumsyhalfninja, December 4, 2009 4:56 pm

There are so many blog posts, guides and tools available to help you increase your followers on Twitter. I figured I would write about Twitter from a slightly anti-social perspective. To most people, the term “Twitter snob” applies to people who have a highly unbalanced follower to following ratio; for example, they have 100 000 followers and are only following 100. I think I may be one for other reasons as outlined below. I am fully aware that this post may be detrimental to my lifelong dream of becoming a Twitter celebrity, but I am willing to take that risk ;)

Private vs. public feed

I used to have a private feed, because I was really only interested in using Twitter to maintain conversations with my few followers who were part of my real life network. As I got more involved in #hashtag games, retweet contests and interacting with twitterers outside of my social circle, I decided to make my feed public, against my moderately private nature. Even though I’ve gotten somewhat used to my tweets being “out there”, I still sometimes exhibit anti-social tendencies (twendencies?), and seem to have developed some tweeting idiosyncrasies that may lead people to believe i’m a “twitter snob”.  Those people wouldn’t be entirely wrong ;)

Limiting followers

Limiting your followers is pretty normal. There are so many spammers and bots out there that it’s necessary report and block the obvious ones. However, in addition to obvious bots and spammers, I tend to remove followers I don’t personally know who:

• type in all caps
• appear to be trying to sell me something, from real estate services to cars to education to porn (some of these fall under bots and spammers but not all)
• appear to be crawler/aggregator twitter feeds. An easy way to spot this is if every single tweet has one keyword in common. For example, someone added me today, so I went to their feed. every tweet had the word “animal” in it:  “animal rescue organization saves 105 puppies” was followed immediately by “paris hilton is a wild party animal!”
• are generally boring or annoying or who, according to me, shouldn’t really have any interest in anything I have to say.

I will not necessarily remove them, but I may judge tweeters who:

• desperately try to be noticed by famous folk by repeatedly mentioning them in tweets, hoping to catch their attention.
• are chronic re-tweeters. sure, we all re-tweet, and it’s a great way to share information and build networks, but people who re-tweet way more than they tweet are just recycling existing information that I am probably already receiving elsewhere and should probably re-evaluate their use of twitter… or at least try to come up with some of their own ideas.
• re-tweet without giving due credit.
• tweet about every coffee they drink, and every meal they cook or eat. unless they are a food blog or cooking show host.
• carry on lengthy personal conversations better suited for DMs.
• manufacture and maintain a false sense of intimacy with strangers over Twitter.
• use Twitter as a temp agency to find new best friends.

I don’t necessarily want to fully block every person I remove, and that seems to be the only option when my feed is public. To get around this, I make my feed temporarily private, “remove” them, then make my feed public again.

Privacy settings

There are a couple of things I don’t like about the privacy settings. Currently, Twitter only seems to have 2 settings: “all” and “nothing”. If you make your feed private, nobody can see anything you do other than the followers you approve. If you make your feed public, everyone can see it. The “block” feature only blocks people from following you on their feed or mobile app; they can still go to your page and see all your tweets, whether they’re logged in or not. What I would really like to see is something in-between these two extremes: with this setting, your feed would only be visible to people who are logged in and not blocked by you. Another tweak I would like to see to private feeds: it would be useful if a person you @mention could see that specific tweet even if you have a private feed.

Lists

Twitter recently introduced lists, which makes Twitter much more manageable. Lists are a great way to group similar information, eliminating main feed overload. In my opinion, the list feature’s greatest strength is the fact that you don’t need to follow someone to add them to one. This is great news for me, because I like to keep my main feed clear with a mix of tweets that I am most interested in, and this way I can go to specific lists when I feel like reading up on a specific interest area. For example, I don’t always want to see tweets from my 100 favourite bands; I can click on my “music” list when I want to see them. It also helps me manage my following : follower ratio.

The following : follower ratio

Some people say your Twitter popularity is judged by your following : follower ratio – the lower it is, the more popular you are. I don’t view Twitter as a popularity contest, but I do like to keep a < 2:1 following to follower ratio. Perhaps because I like to avoid tweet overload and keep things somewhat balanced. Or maybe I’m just fooling myself and I really am a Twitter snob. Hopefully it won’t cause me to lose too many followers. But hey, that will just save me the trouble of having to remove them myself. ;)

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By clumsyhalfninja, December 3, 2009 4:47 pm

The holiday season always approaches with bittersweetness.

Christmas Day was pretty normal growing up. My brother and I would get up absurdly early and play with Lego quietly in his room until Mom would wake up. Then we’d shuffle downstairs in our housecoats, open our stockings, and wait for my Dad to wake up. Over Montreal-style bagels and orange juice, Dad would distribute the gifts one by one, acting surprised each time as he’d read the label aloud: “to Mica, from … Santa!”. When they were all gone, we’d play for awhile, then my brother, Dad and I would go skiing for the day while Mom prepared the turkey.

By the time we’d get back, Mom would have prepared a delicious spread of turkey, stuffing and vegetables. Rosy-cheeked and happily exhausted from our day on the slopes, we would sit down and devour our meals. “Food always tastes better after exercise!” Dad would would say every time without fail. We’d continue to play, sit around eating candy from our stockings and watch Christmas specials for the rest of the evening until we could barely keep our eyes open, then we’d take our favourite toys and retire to our beds, looking forward to playing with them some more the next day. As my brother and I grew older, we modified the tradition but the spirit was the same. We’d go over for bagels in the morning, exchange gifts and stay for Christmas dinner. Then my brother and I would return to our homes.

About ten years ago, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimers, and since then, the holiday season has taken on a new meaning. My mother hasn’t really felt like celebrating holidays since he was put in long-term care. My Christmas days have involved going to the care facility with my mom and sitting quietly with my dad, who can no longer communicate except through his eyes, and even then, they barely see me. We’d eat their “holiday lunch” with other families and loved ones affected by forms of dementia. It is always so obvious that even though everyone is trying so hard to be joyous, we are all feeling the same melancholy as we recall the days when it wasn’t always this way.

My brother moved to Germany in December of last year to realize his own dreams, so this past year, I’ve been helping my mom cope with the departure of her son in addition to my father’s rapid decline in health, including an extended hospital stay in the spring that had us fearing for the worst. I am becoming increasingly worried about my aging mother’s own well-being, as I’ve noticed more and more changes in her health and behaviour. My brother and I have always been each other’s support structure, looking out for each other, talking about matters of the heart and providing advice. With the distance and time difference, it has been difficult to maintain this connection, and we only barely manage to do so over email and occasional telephone calls.

A couple of months before my brother left for Germany, I met a wonderful man with a large extended family who have been extremely warm and welcoming to me. Aware of my mother’s loneliness, they have even been kind enough to extend invitations to my mother for some events. It has been a strange yet wonderful adjustment going from what felt like a crumbling family to suddenly being spoiled by an extended family of aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins who all enjoy spending time together. Over the last year, my boyfriend has been helping my mother and myself with hospital trips, and various tasks that my mom needs help with around the house; things that normally my brother and I would help her out with.

Although I am always affected by a slight feeling of loss and emptiness over the holiday season, I have been extremely blessed over the last couple of holiday seasons to the point where I almost forget the sadness that usually accompanies it. And with time, I fully expect the holiday season’s sweetness to overflow onto the bitter and cover it with a soft, snow-like blanket.

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By clumsyhalfninja, November 26, 2009 2:36 pm

as you can see, i put a lot of thought into each tweet.

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By clumsyhalfninja, November 20, 2009 1:04 am

Hey, #Ottawa! Remember at first when we all thought, “I don’t get this Twitter thing”? Well here’s your chance to get that old feeling back.

Foursquare has recently expanded to 50 new cities, including our own. It’s being touted as  next year’s Twitter, so now is your chance to be an early adopter. It’s also your chance to get a head start on being the mayor of as many spots as possible.

What is Foursquare?

Foursquare is a location-based social media site, a game and a travel guide all in one.  You “check in” to a location from a list of nearby places from your mobile device or browser. The person who has checked into a location the most times becomes its “mayor”, and can be ousted as often as someone overtakes their visits. You can also leave shouts, tips and things to do for future visitors, and create “to do” lists for places you’d like to check out in the future. You can earn points and badges when you achieve certain goals, much like in Brownies or Scouts (for example, I earned the “newbie” badge when I checked in for the first time and “crunked” once I had been to 4 different places in one night). If a location doesn’t already exist, you can create it. Your Foursquare account can also be linked to your Twitter and Facebook accounts to let everyone know when you have checked in, become mayor, or unlocked a badge (don’t worry, these settings are customizable so that you don’t end up spamming everyone).

Stalker’s paradise?

Having grown up in the digital age, aware of all the dangers that can be lurking, my second thought after “Neat-o!” was “Gee, that’s kind of creepy.” A newcomer to Foursquare myself, I still have a lot to explore, but I have thrown together a few tips to help you out:

1. You probably shouldn’t update your location if you are by yourself and in a secluded area.
2. Make your icon a picture of you surrounded by a mass of big, burly men and amazonian women… and dogs with really sharp teeth and foaming mouths. Or just choose a non-identifying image.
3. It’s probably not a good idea to add your home address to the list of locations and proceed to “check in” every time you get home.
4. Fake left, then go right. Foursquare allows you to update your location from wherever you are (for now).
5. Update on your way out. If someone is following you, they wouldn’t have enough time to get there and accidentally “bump” into you.
6. You can check in to places with the option of hiding your whereabouts, so it will still count towards your badges and points.  Remember – your cyberstalkers are only as good as the information you put out there for them.

The curse of the early adopter

Remember, it is still new in the area, and much like Twitter, it is only as fun as the friends you surround yourself with. Aren’t you glad you stuck with Twitter past that awkward phase? The more acquaintances you have participating, the more fulfilling it is for all of you. It is also a great opportunity to meet new like-minded individuals who enjoy the same things as you. I strongly suggest that you be patient as Ottawa works out its kinks and builds up its community. So tell all your friends about it, tweet about it, blog about it, and let’s start having fun. As with “real” life, the more you put into your community, the more you will get out of it.

http://foursquare.com